Surrender and Sincerity
Very little grows on jagged rock.
Be ground. Be crumbled.
So wildflowers will come up
where you are.
You have been stoney for too many years.
Try something different.
Surrender.
Rumi
I remember traveling to other countries and having to learn . . . on the spot . . . how to drive a car according to their ways and, in other countries, having to learn how to cross streets that looked impossible to do.
Driving a stick-shift in England . . . on the opposite side of the road through a round-a-bout!
Driving the autobahn in Germany and getting a ticket for speeding (Germany’s no-speed-limits on the autobahn did not include construction zones).
Crossing a wide, very, very busy highway, by foot, in Morocco and India. I was convinced I would be run over – it literally looked impossible to get from one side of the road to another without being hit by a car or a scooter or a bus.
These examples (I lived to tell-the-tale stories) come to me as I sit with what it is like to let go. In order to become aligned with another culture’s way of doing things, something in us has to give way. To insist on doing things we are accustomed to and might even rely on as the only way to move about can be a recipe for disaster when we are in another “state”.
The same can be said for letting go of our deep belief systems, conditioned patterns of behavior and our personal will (wanting life and the world to be exactly as we want it, thank you very much) The mind-generated self that convinces us it is needed for survival in the world of duality we live in. Once aware of something greater than ourselves; once aware of the depth of our souls and an awakened state of pure being, those old beliefs, patterns and will power are not only seen through as obsolete, they are a fool’s errand. We are called to take our hands off the wheels and allow or cooperate with the natural flow of life –called to surrender again and again. Live in another “state”.
In subtle and not so subtle ways the “laws” in the spiritual realm are different than the ones we typically live by in the material world.
I am not speaking of the obvious material laws like gravity and not being able to walk through walls; we wisely learn our surroundings and live according to the ways of this earth. We are warmed by the sun and we follow our bodies’ rhythms of eating and sleeping.
When we awaken from a deep (or even light) sleep it can be disorienting. We have shifted into a state of being that is inseparable from the law that everything and everyone comes and goes - change is a given, an immutable truth. Hanging on to the way it was – making plans for how the future should be does, indeed, make God laugh. The shift reveals the unbounded present moment, shimmering its’ spaciousness - a spaciousness that is roomy enough to hold (compassionately) everything that shows up in life, bringing a soft ease with it. It is the motion that originates from spacious silence which gives rise to creative, wise, grace-filled, healing, evolving and generative energy.
In an awakened state we know the law of interconnection in our bones - all life is in this world together and it matters, really matters how we think, feel and behave . . . it impacts our being and impacts the world at large. Being wide open, full bodied wide open, is being the child starving in Gaza, the woman standing at the edge of the cliff, Leonard Bernstein conducting Ode to Joy as the Berlin wall falls, the sunflower turned towards the sun.
What is most essentially real and authentic is now THE guiding light and it becomes vividly clear that life, love and truth is vaster than our minds can possibly comprehend. Distractions, avoidance, denial and skimming the surface become increasingly unsatisfying; in fact, will more often than not bring pain and suffering.
This is where the traveling metaphor falls apart. Instead, we come to the realization that we are designed to live as both states at the very same time as the very same being.
There is no contradiction between the states. There is nothing separating the states.
We grieve when someone or something close to us leaves and we are aware of the mystery of perpetual change and the finality of death, knowing we can no longer be with our loved one physically.
I remember a story of a Zen master whose beloved brother passed away. As the master wept and wept for the loss of his brother one of his student’s approached him, genuinely perplexed, wondering out loud how he could be so distressed when he lived a life of abiding detachment.
As I have observed religion and spirituality over decades, I have seen the collective consciousness shift from a split between the human condition and spiritual awareness to an integrated embodied realization of our full true being.
I have lived that shift myself. I, along with so many others, came to seeking with the assumption that waking up would transcend my humanity . . . especially the painful parts. I know I am far from alone in that assumption.
Living within the vast field of reality includes every part of our humanity. Knowing in your soul that you will be alright no matter what – able, in a very real way, to know you can and will withstand each and every loss does not shield you from the human experience of profound grief and loss. Surrender to that.
Knowing in your bones that nothing stays the same (even if it lasts for decades) will not protect you from the pain of having to say good-bye. A family member or dear friend might die, get lost in an irretrievable illness, become estranged, move hundreds of miles away or get lost in addiction; you might lose a job that brought security and/or was very gratifying - and the truth of living in a world where everything changes (and life is always offering “lessons”) will not save you from missing them or grieving for old times. Surrender to that.
Living with an open heart in a world that is often dark and hurtful can be painful and challenging. Knowing that no one nor anything is separated from anyone or anything else – the smoke from a fire hundreds of miles away turns the sky above you a deep orange – a virus that shows up in a local lab closes down the entire world – young boys trapped in a cave makes headlines in hundreds of countries – knowing this connectedness – knowing the reality of I am you and you are me – can break our hearts as we traverse our divine humanness. By the time we leave our bodies we might have cried an ocean of tears. And laughed a thousand laughs as joy and delight fills the air. Surrender to that.
In my experience being real . . . becoming more and more authentic is a daily and deepening exercise for a fully embodied realization. From the time of our birth on this planet, into our family, as part of a culture and society we are shown, taught and more often than not required to put on some kind of mask and costume. To get along, to be accepted and cared for we find ways of pretending to be what is asked of us. We become masters of pretense and when we are lucky enough to register our discomfort, we begin to shed what is not real . . . not natural. Surrender to that.
We can know realness . . . authenticity . . . as a spiritual law when we feel and sense the enchantment and “fresh air” go through out bodies. It is always a good thing to notice the felt sense when we allow and express what is true and radically honest. Truth as it is and not as we imagine or desire it to be. When we are sincere about living real and truthfully, we will master the fine art of telling the truth lovingly and compassionately. Surrender to that.
There is a great force behind sincerity. A force that can move a mountain, save a drowning child, or awaken one out of a deep sleep.
I sometimes wonder if it, along with radical honesty, is a magic elixir for living life as a river flows.
The question we face, at one time or another, is how sincere are we when it comes to living a fully awakened life. This is no easy question, since, for the most part, until we truly let go of perceived egoic control and allow life to move through us and as us, we do not fully comprehend what is being asked of us.
Sometimes only sincerity can pull us through the eye of the needle. I can remember so many conversations I had with myself . . . during the seeking period . . . when I was frightened or resistant and wanted to run away . . . touching into the sweet spot of serious devotion and kindly and firmly reminding myself that even though I was scared I knew, in my heart of hearts, that my spirit would have the final say on things.
This level of sincerity requires a deep dive, for it is in the core of being that we know that wholeness is our birthright and that being real and genuine is what we long for. No matter how much grief we hear from our mental jabbering nor how insistent or loud our will power screams bloody murder, sincerity (whole-heartedness) has the final word. Count on that!
The Medicine of Surrender
comes with no spoonful of sugar.
No promises, no back up plans,
no returns, no insurance.
The medicine of surrender
never tastes the way you expect,
never tastes the same next time,
seldom has the hoped for effect.
And if there were some part of you
that thought it might not be affected,
that thought it might hold back,
that part is most likely the first part
to be flooded with the relentless
truth of what is. Oh surrender.
The surest medicine that exists.
There are infinite side effects.
Wonder. Freedom. Rawness.
It’s like opening the dictionary
to the word heaven. Or obliteration.
And knowing it’s the same thing.
It’s like playing spin the bottle with life,
and you French kiss whatever you get.
It’s the only remedy that can help you
be whole. The only real medicine there is.
Rosemerry